If you buy a bucket of fried chicken
And in it you find a deep-fried mouse
Do you discard just the carcass?
Or throw it all out of the house?
If you see a restaurant employee
Lick his fingers while fixing your food
Do you accept it when they bring it
Even though it’s disgusting and crude?
If your server sneezes in your chili
Or the cook nasal drips on your plate
Do you accept it as being perfectly normal
Tell the manager the food was great?
Has your burger been dropped on the floor
And carelessly thrown back on the grill?
Do you see movement in the background
And realize it’s roaches on a windowsill?
Do employees really wash their hands
After a very lengthy bathroom trip?
It doesn’t matter, the bathroom’s so disgusting
The floor’s so greasy you might slip!
In your spaghetti, you find a piece of a mop
And you wonder if it was dirty or clean
Are you seriously considering after eating
Going to a clinic for a hepatitis screen?
Has your salad been washed properly”
Or do you see evidence of slime or mold?
Does the diarrhea you experience later
Come as a raging dragon, fiery and bold?
Have all the cats and dogs gone missing
Around your favorite local restaurant?
Does the disappearance of your cat, Fifi
Come along with indigestion to haunt?
If all of this sounds incredibly disgusting
And the thoughts of it make you puke
Then think twice before ordering dinner
Food poisoning you may have to rebuke!