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Friday, June 24, 2022

GREEN ACHERS

 
            GREEN ACHERS ARE THE GREEN GIANT’S FEET
            THEY’RE GREAT BIG HUNKS OF STINKY MEAT
            THE STENCH OF THEM GOES FOR MILES AND MILES
            CAUSING YOUR OLFACTORY GLANDS TO BE DEFILED

            SOMETIMES YOU’LL FIND HIM SOAKING IN A POND
            BETWEEN HIS TOES YOU’LL SEE REEDS AND FRONDS
            SIGHS OF RELIEF YOU’LL OFTEN HEAR HIM SAY
            AS HE WIGGLES HIS TOES ABOUT IN MUDDY CLAY

            FOR SOME RELIEF HE SEARCHES FAR AND WIDE
            THE SIGHT OF HIM MAKES PEOPLE RUN AND HIDE
            UNFORTUNATE FOR HIM THERE’S NO RELIEF IN SIGHT
            WHICH MEANS HE’LL ENDURE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

            A PEDIATRIST HE MOST SURELY MUST SEE
            ITS BECAUSE HIS PAIN IS TO THE NINTH DEGREE
            A TRUNK OF A MIGHTY OAK IS HIS CANE
            EVERY EXCRUCIATING STEP HAS BECOME HIS BANE

            GRUMPY, HE NOW WANDERS THROUGHOUT THE LAND
            FOOTSTEPS GROW LARGER AS SWOLLEN FEET EXPAND
            HIS GREEN ACHERS HAVE GOT THE BEST OF HIM
            NOW THEY ROT AWAY, HIS HOPE OF HEALING IS SLIM

            IF YOU’RE A GREEN GIANT AND YOUR FEET HURT BAD
            THE SOLUTION BELOW WILL MAKE YOU GLAD, NOT SAD
            TRACTOR TIRE SANDALS LINED WITH WOOL OF A SHEEP
            WILL EASE THE PAIN, YOU’LL GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP

            SO, GREEN ACHERS, THEY’RE NOT REALLY SO BAD
            IF YOUR FOOTWEAR WORKS AND YOU’RE WOOLY CLAD
            THROUGHOUT THIS LAND YOU CAN WALK WITH A SMILE
            GRUMPY NO MORE, THE SOLUTION IS SO WORTHWHILE

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