I HATE GARAGE SALES!

 
                I THINK I HATE GARAGE SALES
                I CAN’T HELP IT, I REALLY DO
                FOR THOSE WHO’VE NEVER HAD ONE
                THEY HAVE A DISTORTED VIEW

                YOU HAUL IT OUT OF THE BASEMENT
                UP A FLIGHT OF LONG STAIRS
                BOX AFTER BOX OF YOUR THINGS
                OF WHICH YOU NO LONGER CARE

                THEN YOU HAVE TO PRICE IT ALL
                AND BASICALLY YOU’RE GIVING IT AWAY
                HOPING SOMEONE WILL PAY YOUR PRICE
                INSTEAD OF DICKERING WHAT THEY PAY

                THE DAY BEFORE THE DREADED EVENT
                THE LABOR, IT REALLY BEGINS
                POP UPS, TABLES, TARPOLINS
                THE WEARINESS BEGINS TO SETTLE IN

                CHANGE FROM THE BANK’S BEEN ACQUIRED
                SACKS AND BAGS, PAPER TO WRAP
                THE MORNING OF, THE SIGNS GO UP
                YOU BEGIN TO FEEL THAT YOU’RE TRAPPED

                THE WEATHER, RAINING OR NINETY DEGREES
                THERE’S NEVER A HAPPY IN-BETWEEN
                IT TENDS TO MAKE ME A LITTLE GRUMPY
                EVEN THE CUSTOMERS CAN BE MEAN    

                PEOPLE, THEY TEND TO ARRIVE EARLY
                A HANDFUL OR YOU ARE SWAMPED
                YOU’LL HAVE SOME THAT ARE CORDIAL
                OTHERS YOU WANT TO STRANGLE AND STOMP

                YOU GRIT YOUR TEETH, SILENTLY WATCH
                AS EVERYTHING IS UNFOLDED AND TOSSED
                AND YOU KNOW YOUR THINGS GET STOLEN
                SILENTLY WONDER HOW BIG IS YOUR LOSS    

                BUT THE THING THAT REALLY GETS TO ME
                SOMETHING FOR A QUARTER, OFFERED A DIME
                I HAVE A HARD TIME CONTROLLING MYSELF
                AS I CONSIDER COMMITTING A CRIME

             

                EVERY YEAR I SAY “NEVER AGAIN”
                WHILE DOING THE AFTER SALE TEAR DOWN
                THIS YEAR FINALLY I’VE HAD ENOUGH
                WHILE IN MY SWEAT I SLOWLY DROWN!