THE CAT FROM HELL

 
                I WILL NEVER FORGET THE DAY
                I RECEIVED THAT FATEFUL CALL
                IT WAS MY BEST FRIEND, JOHN
                WHOM I’D HELPED, JOBS BIG AND SMALL

                “MY CAT HAS DONE SOMETHING STUPID”
                “YOU KNOW, SADIE, THE SIAMESE”
                “I CAN’T HELP HER BY MYSELF”
                “WILL YOU COME OVER, PRETTY PLEASE”

                WHAT I SAW WHEN I ARRIVED
                MADE ME LAUGH TIL IT BROUGHT TEARS
                FOR SADIE STOOD BEFORE ME
                RUBBER BAND PROTRUDING FROM HER REAR

                SHE WAS MAKING A MOURNFUL SOUND
                AS BOWLEGGED AS SHE COULD BE
                AS JOHN AND I STOOD AND PONDERED
                ON REMOVING IT, JUST HOW DO WE

                “SHE STARTED OUT BY EATING
                THE ELASTIC TOPS FROM MY SOCKS”
                “BUT TO GRADUATE TO THIS
                HAS COME AS QUITE A SHOCK”

                JOHN WENT TO FIND SOME TWEEZERS
                WHILE I PICKED UP THAT STUPID CAT
                GENTLY THEN I ROLLED HER UP
                INSIDE JOHN’S FRONT DOOR WELCOME MAT

                SADIE BEGAN TO SQUALL AND SQUIRM
                AS JOHN GRABBED HOLD OF THE BAND
                PULLING HARD, THE TWEEZERS SLIPPED
                AND THINGS GOT RAPIDLY OUT OF HAND
                
                SHE TOOK OFF LIKE A FIERY ROCKER
                AND UP THE CURTAINS SHE FLEW
                AROUND AND AROUND THE ROOM WE RACED
                CATCHING HER, WE HAD NO CLUE

                FINALLY SHE WAS CORNERED
                A RAGING BEAST SHE HAD BECOME
                A TOWEL TOSSED, HASTY GRAB
                THE DEMON DID FINALLY SUCCUMB



                HOLDING HER BECAME AN ORDEAL
                AS SHE FOUGHT US TOOTH AND NAIL
                THE TWEEZERS SLIPPED, HER BUTT POPPED
                AGAIN FROM MY ARMS SHE BAILED

                FINALLY THE TASK WAS COMPLETED
                WITH LOSS OF BLOOD AND SKIN
                SADIE DISAPPEARED TO NURSE HER BUTT
                WE DOUBT SHE’LL DO IT AGAIN!!!