The Elderly's Lament

If Heaven was as hard to get into
As most packaged products made today
Not many of the elderly would make it
If that golden trumpet began to play

“Squeeze, press down, twist,” the cap says
To reveal an impossible to remove the seal
Someday you’d like to meet the inventor
And tell him just exactly how you feel

Jar lids King Kong couldn’t twist off
Cans of food you can’t possibly open
Is the reason a lot of elderly go out
To fast food places, it’s easier, they’re hopin’

Child-proof pill bottles; meant to protect
You can’t begin the get the lid loose
With worn-out hands and fumbly fingers
Being your only legitimate excuse

Then you deal with the aggravating TV
Internet access, WIFI, modems, cable
You have to be a college graduate
To figure it out, prove your not disabled

And one size fits all is a total lie
Especially if you have to wear Depends
The constriction it makes around your middle
Makes it impossible for you to bend

And everything should start on the floor
It is where it always ends up anyway
You know you are going to drop it
It’s inevitable because it happens every day

Life is so unfair for the elderly
The things they are forced to go through
If they could start out life being old
And get younger every day would do!

Tuesday, June 21, 2022